Part 6: If You Can Change, You Will Heal
Many examples and ideas have been provided in Parts 1 to 5, to assist you changing from the troubled state of mind you in were a moment ago (or a few hours, a week, month, years ago) to being less so, right now. Your constant transformations tell you that you are not truly the same person all the time. There are many ways you can understand that fact now after reading the five other sections of this series.
Changes are happening in and around you and you can contribute some of your own in order to improve emotionally. To wit, you can make specific alterations to your thinking by way of additions and substitutions that will help you see life differently and reduce or remove what’s been bothering you. So if you want to change you can change therefore you can heal.
It is important to realize, however, that the only time or “place” to deal with the problems that arise is the present. You need to grasp the truth that what we call “the past” is in our memory and that our memory is a collection of our thoughts and mental images! My book (in section 3 above) deals with this topic extensively. So then it does not matter when you were hurt, you can only deal with it now. Even when a therapist wants to go into your past to examine the problem, it really means: “Let’s review your history so as to understand your present problem to help you change your now-feelings about it”. It is an opportunity to take a closer look, for healing purposes.
Every bad experience has a flip side of not bad. You have a choice of changing the way you think about the situation, so, today, right now, you will make that problem trouble you less. This is not always straightforward or easy to see. In fact it is probably never simple or ordinary, when it comes to suffering. Nonetheless taking charge of your thoughts is the key to feeling better. Your efforts will definitely be rewarded because it is in your nature to get better. That’s how we are put together. We hurt because our emotional machine is not running well or smoothly. The disturbance is a message to us that something needs fixing in us; and we feel better only after the problem thoughts and emotions are fixed.
As I look for what’s not bad about my situation (and remember I said that as a rule I do not allow unpleasant thoughts to linger in my mind), I see wonderful and exceptionally caring people who have come my way, providing me with useful and uplifting information. In addition, I have been given the opportunity of thoroughly enjoying the experiencing of affection and strong, spiritual reaching out of former work colleagues, of receiving the benefit of sincere prayers and the loving attention from close family and friends. A research project that will hopefully lead to better care of people with a certain kind of chronic anxiety has flowed from the book, providing me with increased self-esteem and much appreciated intellectual stimulation. All of these are benefits coming directly from my being injured. How can I be sad about it? Yes, I would have changed anyway; but not precisely in this very satisfying fashion. You too can change for the better how you see your own difficult situation.
YOU CAN DEFEAT MISERY AND MAKE HAPPINESS HAPPEN! YES YOU CAN
In attempting to answer the question: “Who are you today?” Part 1 (under the heading: Are You The Same Person Everyday? Think About It) tried to explain that we are continually changing, over years, months, weeks, days and over one moment to the next. The explanation then went on to state that some of the many different ways we change are small, even minute and unnoticeable and that our emotional states are the most vulnerable (So How And How Much Do We Change?). I also said that the rate and type of change can be huge and public or not, of which we may be unaware or do not keep track of most of the time. I emphasize we can and need to, however (under: We Can Control The Way We Change).
Part 2 proposes that as we move through from past to future we need to adjust our reactions; for thereby we keep control, to the benefit of our emotional condition (in: Here’s A Closer Look). Under the next heading: Shift Your Mood As Needed, I elaborated on why this awareness is important, especially to teach that all action for mental peace has to take place in the present where all emotional problems reside and (in: It Is In Your Nature To Get Better) that since we are constructed to be emotionally (and physically) well our healing efforts will always pay off.
How The Changes Leave Their Mark… As We Speak is the first topic in Part 3, in which I stated that as the various changes we undergo make a new person of us, technically or clearly we need to keep abreast of them to be effective in responding advantageously to our changing surroundings and relationships. I went on to indicate that you cannot allow the fleeting events in life to rob you of life’s pleasures or who you are (in the section on: Can You Always Tell What Changed?) and to also explain that we and our experiences are not tied inseparably to a time or place and that we can shape our destiny if we are flexible about and responsive to change (in: Leave Yesterday to Itself).
In Part 4 (Seriously, Today, Right Now, Is What Counts) I made the point that healing takes place in the mind and our minds are portable across time. Emotional hurt is a choice we can resist in the present; that by choosing to select our thoughts we can bring ourselves from emotional pain to a neutral state and to joy. “Normal” depends on how we think about life (see: A ”New Normal”) and that only you through honest perceptions can purposefully bring quality into your emotional life; along with immeasurable benefits (in: Heal Your Hurts; Don’t Hide Them).
I presented ways to try to be reasonable about the reality of your emotional condition and commit to the “Feel Better” steps provided, to address each issue (in: ‘This-Will-Make-Me-Feel-Better’ Thoughts) in Part 5. I further advised that thoughts cause distress and so their full disclosure and mastery is necessary for proper healing (Use Your Thinking To Heal… Here’s Another Way to Look at It) and that our emotional condition is a powerful change and betterment agent that requires sensible attention and thoughtful direction from us (in: To Heal, Accept Change And Change Your Thoughts).
Here, If You Can Change, You Will Heal (Part 6) currently under discussion, I have repeated that knowledge of how and willingness to change in the immediate present, which comes through deliberate healthy thinking is the key to emotional healing
This Part ends the series with: You Can Defeat Misery And Make Happiness Happen! Yes, you can. By now you probably have realized from reading this blog that keeping happy is a skill. As in all other areas of life some people are just gifted in performing certain skills. And that’s true of some of you in this area of knowing how to maintain good emotional health. Those of you who have special talent in growing your mental health may not even see yourself that way. As you were reading you were likely understanding everything clearly, sometimes even wondering why it had to be said. I congratulate you for your gift. I hope you know you enjoy power, the power of control over unhappiness that everyone would like to have. I think the majority of us are not so lucky. I for one had to learn how to be calm. So can you; and I dare say, so can everyone.
The information in these series is to help those who need to work at it, constantly or frequently. It is too bad our society does not put value on the development of inner peace so people who excel whether because of giftedness or hard work can be celebrated. Moreover with widespread acceptance of the need to acquire inner peace government initiatives and programs would promote and support the efforts of more people to maintain peace of mind. Nevertheless my encouragement to you is to continue to study, learn and practice, practice, practice. Your success will benefit not only you but the whole world as well. I say so from the fact that the more people with a controlled mental state, the less anger, shame, fear, prejudice, selfishness, greed and ego etc. that contribute to conflict and war there will be; therefore peace in the whole world will be a sure thing.
For this reason, you are called upon to start to carefully observe your life to be familiar with the ways you need to change in relation to the variations in your internal and external environment that are affecting you one way or the other but especially in unacceptable ways. It is important to recognize how different you become in this continuous process of psychological adjustment. I hope you are saying: ‘Yes, it is’. More importantly I hope you are already thinking about the way(s) you will begin to heal or improve your peace of mind. I further encourage you to do your part to keep a healthy mind going, in other words, your peace of mind, with the intention of helping to make our world a pleasant place for you and others. The more people making inner peace a priority the sooner public agencies including your government and the educational system will join in with mental-health policies and programs. In the spirit of contributing in a small was to such programs I am leaving you this link:
Goodbye for now, friends.